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Areala Asks: The Clone Question (20160317)


Areala
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Dearly devoted, I have a simple question for you to ponder on this St. Patrick's Day.

Back in 2009, Dan O'Brien of Cracked.com posed this (although I'm sure it's been asked before that by other people, being a thought experiment), and I think the ensuing chaos could be enjoyable so here it is:

"Assume you are locked in a room with a perfect clone of your current self. There are no doors, no windows, no cracks. That clone will completely disappear in one our, and then you will be released from the room by, let's say, robots. No one will see what you do, no one will ever know what happens, no one on the outside world will ever even know that you were locked in a room with your clone for an hour. The question is: do you fuck or fight yourself?"

Dan himself lays out arguments for and against both options in the blog post, which can be read here if you need some additional input on the idea:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/human-clones-do-you-fk-or-fight/

Otherwise, that's it. There's your scenario. Two choices. Epic battle royale, or epic love fest (or some combination of both, depending on your depths of self-loathing and desire to subjugate another 'you' for nefarious purposes)?

Pick one. Think it out. Weigh your options. Read the comments on the Cracked article for additional perspective. Remember: no matter what happens in that room, no one will EVER know.

What happens? It's St. Patty's day, so it's perfectly acceptable to imbibe a large quantity of alcohol before answering this one. They don't call it 'liquid courage' for nothing, so if you're planning on getting plastered tonight, at least stay coherent enough to check back in here after the second or third round and give us an update. ;)

As always, the thread will close after seven days after which a new question will be posed. Particularly impressive, well-reasoned, or hilarious answers will be rewarded with bonus forum credits. Happy thought experimenting! :)

*huggles*
Areala

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Only an hour? Hate to be a spoil sport, but I'm pretty sure we'd spend it trying to figure out which one of us was the clone. Being able to clone myself like Jaime Madrox (points if you know who that is) would be awesome, though, so long as you could reabsorb the clones' experiences. I could get so much more DONE. If I just had the one clone in the box, though, I'd be tempted to to enslave the SOB. Maybe put him to work scanning magazines so I could do more enjoyable things.

Sorry for breaking the rules of the question, but I sort of question the sanity of anyone who would actually choose either of the given options. Still, if it had to be one, I imagine it would be fight (or kill) to protect one's sense of identity from being stolen. It would take a lot longer than an hour to come to that extreme conclusion, though. And unfortunately, if you were to decide upon that course of action, it's likely that your clone would, as well.

On an unrelated note, it isn't important to me like it is to some, but to save THOSE people some aggravation, I'll point out that it's St. Paddy's Day, not St. Patty's Day.

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If I found myself trapped in a room with a clone of myself, I wouldn't question it or try to find a way out. I'd immediately engage it in mortal combat. The two of us would be locked in a deadly game of fisticuffs, a true test of one's skills in the realm of physical engagement. For every move my identical adversary would have a counter; for every tactic my equal would have a strategy. A blow would land here, a shot would land there. I imagine a rugged and manly brawl the likes of which would put the alley fight in They Live to shame. A stalemate would be achieved for apparent perpetuity until at last, a lucky combination of attacks would down my deft doppleganger. Taking the opportunity to capitalize I would leap upon him quickly, by this point too habituated with the abstract notion of battling my twin to hesitate landing solid punches to his face. The blood would spill and the consciousness would fade, and before long my mortal enemy would be defeated. At this point, to undo the cosmic paradox of two versions of myself running rampant through the universe, I would behead my true foe and burn his body as both an acknowledgement of the finality of my victory and a gesture of my respect for my warrior match.

...Then I would fuck it.

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Apparently the only way to tell miketheratguy and his clone apart is to figure out who's wearing the shirt that says, "I fuck everything I kill" and who's wearing the shirt that says, "I kill everything I fuck." ;)

No two ways about it, my clone and I are getting it on for, like, 40 of those minutes which will not be nearly long enough, but will allow for a ten-minute massage afterwards for her, and vice versa. A clone would not only know all the stuff I like, but she'd also be aware of where my muscles kink up after a full day at work, and thus wouldn't have to waste any time looking around for the right spots. And let's face it, if you were going to disappear back into the ether in an hour, wouldn't you love a nice massage before you go?

I know I would. :)

*huggles*
Areala

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i've pondered how to respond to this question for a while. i read the linked article, quite a few comments, and set my brain to "simmer". i was hoping to come to some clever deduction, but it was not the case. just the cold, hard, facts.

i have no desire to have sex with myself. none. i'm not interested in guys, for one, but outside of that, i guess i'm just not narcissistic enough to find the idea of me fucking me any sort of pleasurable.

therefore, i guess i have to fight myself. i see it starting as a bit of a jiu-jitsu match, as when i drink with friends we tend to have drunken jiu-jitsu matches (none of us have ever studied a day of it, but we have all seen lots of UFC so we have to try it out, etc.) that never ends well, as someone usually gets choked unconscious. if i was facing myself, however, i feel that tempers would flare and it would turn into honest-to-god fisticuffs. hell, one of us would likely throw a headkick. i'm not giving up until i knock that motherfucker out. and i know he's thinking the same way. we would both be bruised, bloody, and beaten, but one of us would have bragging rights (it's going to be me- win or lose, i'll never admit to losing a battle with no witnesses). then we could toast some beers and thumb wrestle.

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I like how much we've said "fuck" in this thread. True story: I actually sent a private message to a high-ranking member a few weeks ago asking whether it was okay to swear on this site. How's that for being considerate of the rules? I hope that when I post filthy (yet powerfully alluring) nude photos of myself in random threads with absolutely zero provocation you all remember this earlier effort to be a law-abiding citizen.

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