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Retro Moment: Teddy Ruxpin, Devourer of Childrens Souls! (Four AA Batteries Not Included)


Phillyman

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Look into the depths of my eyes!

Here we have Teddy Ruxpin, a toy from 1985. Teddy Ruxpin who we will refer to as "T-Rux" for short, was a teddy bear that had a tape recorder stuffed into him. While he looks innocent to the naked eye, upon turning him on....he instantly has control over any child's soul. T-Rux was more effective than Ritalin in the late 80's and much cheaper. Some people think that T-Rux's cassette tapes contained subliminal messages, but to date no evidence has been found to support this allegation. The commercial below shows just how effective T-Rux is with controlling mass amounts of children. While T-Rux's powers of mind control are powerful, they seem to lose their potency against adults. Still I must warn you that if you feel queezy or lightheaded....to stop this video immediately and seek medical attention.

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It's his gaze man, it has to be! It's like he's talking right to you.. commanding you to listen to his yarns. And like talking to a 67-year old man, you know you'd feel bad for him if you didn't.

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